Getting Swept Away // What I Wore

Lately I'm obsessed with Taylor Swift's album, Red. I know, I know, I'm, like, three years late but better late than never, right? Between 22 (growing up, figuring out who we are and trying to find our place in the "adult" world); and songs like Begin Again or Treacherous (letting go of the past and being vulnerable again) I just relate to it so much lately! Maybe I just needed to grow up to appreciate it?

I spent so much of my life wishing I'd have someone special in it. I can't help it. I'm a hopeless romantic and I love love. I love the feeling of crushing on someone. The butterflies and blushing and feeling a bit little like a shy school girl. I love how vulnerable and raw and transparent it makes me feel

But whenever I find myself crushing on someone I almost instantly find myself wishing I didn't. As much as I love the drama and romance of it all I hate the feeling of helplessness. The waiting and worrying. Waiting for them to call me, to ask me out, etc. The worrying that I'm overreacting and I'm the only one that feels that "spark," that it's not going anywhere further. The vulnerability, rawness and transparency.

It's such conflicting feelings. I guess I just want a safe place to fall. I want a country song love. The kind where I'm just as much the only thing he can think about as he's the only thing I can think about. The kind where he shows up in a pickup truck to drive around with the windows down - and it doesn't matter where to as long as we're together.

But nothing worth having comes without risk, and so the circle starts again.